Tales of the Javahunden

Goodbye, Javahound

2005-03-28T06:59:00.000-08:00

I just want you all to know that this will be the last post to this blog. This morning on my way to school I found my sweet Coffee puppy dead. He had apparently been hit by a car. I feel unbearably guilty because I should have been home yesterday to take care of him. This is one of the hardest days I've had in a long time. I came to school any way, but frankly I'm not sure I'll be able to stay. I survived my first two classes, but I have this really bad pain in my stomach and I can't stop crying. What should I do? Going home won't help. I'll just miss him more. I sure wish I could go away for a few days. Maybe I could pretend that my dog would be home when I got back. I don't know. I've never been very good at denial.

I don't know if animals go to heaven. Scripture is pretty silent on the subject. If any animal deserved to spend eternity with God, though, it was my Coffee. Goodbye, best dog ever. I'll miss you more than you know.

Frustration...

2005-02-25T08:07:00.000-08:00

Here we go again. I've decided to drop my algebra class. I think I can still get a little bit of a refund. I'm supposed to be there now, but I decided that since I'm not going to finish the course, I might as well skip. This is very depressing. I wish I knew why this stuff was so hard for me. I mean, everything else is so easy. Well, everything else so far has been easy. Sigh. I'm really depressed. If anyone knows a way to help me learn this stuff, I'd really appreciate the help. I mean, is there a trick to algebraic proficiency? I have to have this class to graduate, and I just don't know what to do. The worst part is that I can't think of a single practical application for algebra for a psychologist. Granted, I do need statistics, but my math teacher has said that a lot of these things are applicable for electrical engineering and such. WHO CARES?!? I know I don't. Help!

Well, anyhoo, Coffee and Petunia had quite a battle the other day. Know how I said that Coffee thinks he has to protect me from my own kitty, who, by the way, I have known way longer than I've known him? Well, this time Petunia was the aggressor, and I thought I was going to have to tend to a seriously injured pet. Petunia has decided that she has to sleep with, and sometimes on, me now. Although this is totally new, she believes that the bed belongs to her and no other critters have a right to it. On the night in question, I was in bed reading a book, when my Javahound scratched at the door so I'd let him inside. Petunia followed me to the door, and when I let Coffster in, he went to the bedroom and hopped up onto the bed, as is his custom. Yes, Dina, I know. Coffee is the alpha dog. Anyway, when Petunia came back in and saw where he was, she ran to the bed and jumped the dog! Things just deteriorated from there. Coffee, while not actually touching her, bristled and growled and showed his teeth and blocked me from her. Petunia hissed and spit and clawed. I think she actually did hurt the dog. He had a little drop of blood on his sweet little nose. I seriously thought I was going to have to assert my dominance, such as it is. As it was, they calmed down, and Petunia went out to pout. I love her and all, but she sure can be catty. Crazy animals of mine.

Well, if anybody has any suggestions about my math class, let me know. I haven't dropped it yet, so if anybody wants to dissuade me, you had better do it before Monday. That's when I plan to drop officially. I'm really discouraged about school in general because of this. I'm thinking of retaking this class during the summer with nothing else. That way I can focus on it exclusively. Who knows? I hope I can do better. Pray for me, OK?

Algebra Hates Me

2005-02-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

OK. I got back my first algebra test today, and I am NOT happy. In fact, I'm in kind of a purple funk. I got a 56%. That is absolutely shameful. This is the first grade I've gotten lower than a B since I've been back in school. I am very depressed. I want cupcakes, doughnuts, Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, and fries. If anybody has some they would like to send me, I would be happy to accept. I don't keep naughty food in the house any more, because of the temptation, you see. I think I would also enjoy a giant steak. Any way, I'm going to start going to a tutor next week so I can get a little help. Actually, a lot of help would be better. Prayer is also good.

Oh, in case anyone was wondering, that is in fact me in the picture. This was a few years ago when I was at SAGU. I was all dressed up for a choir performance. My friends had never seen me like that, so my roommate insisted on taking a picture. The big smile is really sarcastic. I was really embarrassed, even though the outfit got me some compliments from this guy I really liked. The bed on the bottom is mine, as you can probably tell from the Lambchop pillow, what with my sheep fixation and all. Notice the wolf poster in the back. It has a speech bubble coming out of its mouth. This was a vicious taunting message left over from when my roomie and my friend Becky rustled my sheep. Stole every one and left the guard pig I had stationed with them knocked over on the floor. It turned out they were hidden in the acoustical tile ceiling the whole time. It was very mean. Well, I have to go to bed now. Coffee says hello, and wants to know if any of you have any cheese. Have a great day, and I'll try to post again soon!!!

Educational Progress

2005-02-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

The good news is that so far this semester I'm doing pretty well. I got a 109 on my first Spanish test, a 100 on my first Western Civ test and an A on my first English paper. I haven't gotten my sociology test back yet, but I think I did OK. Those essay questions were a bear, though! I haven't had a test in intro to computers yet, but I don't really think that will be a problem for La Maestra del Blog! I am a little concerned about my algebra class still, though. Our first test is Friday, and our instructor hasn't even finished teaching us the material yet. Plus, he's one of those teachers who says, "We don't need to have a review day! Just study everything we've done so far!" He also said that if we do the chapter review in the textbook we'll be fine. The chapter review in the textbook is 95 problems! Holy macaroni! I really wish this test was on Monday instead so I would have the weekend to work on it. I'm going ot try to spend tomorrow and Thursday working pretty much nonstop. Although I have a conversational Spanish class at church tomorrow night. That's OK, though. I'll need the time to relax. May God help me.

Oh! I'm thinking of taking Coffee Dog to the mall on Saturday. The Forsyth Humane Society is having a doggy kissing contest and I think it would a) be a hoot to watch, b) be a good opportunity for the Javahound to be both shown off to those with average dogs, and c) a fun little contest to enter. Granted, my buddy isn't much of a kisser, so maybe I'll have to eat a lot of cheese beforehand. Wait. That would ruin the diet. Hmm. Maybe I can just rub some peanut butter on my face. Yeah. That would be "weigh" better. Ha, ha. Later!

P.S. It has come to my attention that I am long winded in these posts. Be advised that that is also how I talk. I'm not being loquatious on purpose. It's my nature.

2005-02-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Been on the diet for well over a week now. I've been doing pretty well, but it seems like food is everywhere! I mean, I've been helping a friend study for our Spanish class, and every time I come over, she wants to feed me. My mother went grocery shopping, and bought tons of stuff that I love, like ravioli and cereal and Dr. Pepper. Then she got sick and wanted ice cream. How cruel is that?!? I've already mentioned the volunteer dinner. Right now, I'm very hungry. I'm trying to decide if I want to have a Slimfast snack bar now. I'd rather have something not sweet, though. Hmm. I wonder what would be good. Any ideas for low calorie, non-sweet snacks? I need something!

A Word About Deprivation

2005-01-31T02:26:00.000-08:00

I want you all to know that I am officially on a diet. No excuses. There is a thin, attractive person inside me dying to get out. Apparently, I ate her. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I know many of you get angry about my self-directed fat jokes. I'm sorry. Truly, I am. Jokes are just how I deal with it. They keep me from getting too freaked out and wallowing in a fat-induced pit of dispair. If I feel bad, and then I don't joke about it, I feel much worse. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's just the way I feel.

So any way, I'm now on the Slim-Fast plan. A good friend of mine lost quite a bit of weight with it. Ultimately, I guess it's just a way of counting calories, and any other way would do the same thing, but it's easy to practice portion control with canned shakes. Plus, I get to have regular chocolate. Huzzah! The S/F web site said I should be eating about 1900 calories a day, but I'm not sure they account for my wickedly slow metabolism. My metabolism is so slow...(How slow is it???)...I'm still digesting my eighth birthday cake! (Insert rimshot here.) This is NOT a fat joke, either. I just don't burn calories very fast. Just the way God made me. You know what I wonder, though? How few calories could I survive on? I bet I could live on very little, like a camel. I'm trying to think of some ancestral reason my people would have needed to conserve, like, if I were Irish, I would blame it on the potato famine. Did the Germans ever experience great privation? I doubt it. As long as there was something to pickle or turn into sausage, they'd be OK.

Well, I've been on my diet for almost a week, and I had my first major failing. My church had a volunteer appreciation dinner at this buffet place tonight. I was pretty good as far as my choices were concerned, but portion control was my downfall. I had rotisserie chicken, and lima beans, and a big honkin' salad with very little dressing, and a vegetable based dessert. OK, so it was carrot cake. That counts! The food sure was good. Plus, I didn't have to pay for it! Everything tastes better on somebody else's dime. In the past, a major blow-out like this would have made me give up. Not this time, though! I'm gonna keep trying. Maybe I'll never be thin in a strict sense of the word, but I could be better than I am now. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Oh, in case you're wondering, the inspiration for this weight-loss attempt is my upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic. I'm sure there will be some point where swimming is available, and I don't look so great in a bathing suit. I wonder how much weight I can lose in six months. Anybody want to start a pool?

If any of you have tried to visit Waterbearergirl's blog, you've noticed that the link doesn't work. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I intend to find out. She may have scrapped it. I hope not, 'cause I enjoyed reading it. You never can tell with those Michiganders, though. Hopefully, she'll let me know. Well, it's been a pleasure writing, but I need to go to bed. I have an eight o'clock class tomorrow. Good night!!!

Weather, Among Other Things

2005-01-29T22:57:00.000-08:00

Hi, again. As of now, it's sleeting in Walnut Cove, center of the cultural universe. Weatherbug tells me that winter weather will continue on through 12:24 tomorrow afternoon. That's right, folks! I'm homebound! Yes, I know we southerners aren't too good in winter. We're warm weather people. On the plus side, I may not have school on Monday, so I'll have plenty of time to study for my sociology and Spanish tests. They are both on Wednesday. I may end up claiming that the problems with research with human subjects are hablo, hablas, habla, hablamos, hablais, and hablan. Ha, ha. I crack me up.

Speaking of school, I have to decide if I'm going to go to summer school. On the one hand, I would like to, on the other hand, I have the opportunity to go on a missions trip to the Dominican Republic the summer, and the trip is scheduled for a week before summer term is over. What do y'all think I should do? Do you think my instructors would let me take my finals a week early? Or maybe I could take all my summer classes online. Then I could take a laptop with me and do school whilst there. Wait. I don't have a laptop. Hmm. I need advice.

Oh, I have another quandary. I need a graphing calculator for my algebra class and I don't have the money to buy one. I can get one on eBay for $60, but that's still a little steep. I guess I'll have to try again to find a job. Sigh. Good luck to me. Oh, woe!

The good news about the abysmal weather is that Coffee loves it! He's wanted to be outside all day. After it started sleeting a few hours ago (it had been snowing), he came inside all covered with ice! There were little crystals on his forehead. It was absolutely adorable. While the snow was still falling he was outside jumping around like a deer. I wish I had that kind of energy. Heck, I wish I had any energy! If it's still frosty tomorrow, I'm going to suck it up and go out and play with my pup. I'll try to get Beagley to come, too, but that won't be easy. He's not so much a fan of the cold. You know, just like me.

So anyhoo, for your amusement, I think I shall share a story from Thursday. After my day's errands, I stopped at the mailbox. There wasn't much in it. I got back in the car and started to pull away, but I noticed something odd on the hill next to the road. I looked for a second, and saw that it was a baseball. Well, being me, I couldn't just let it sit there all alone. I figured at least Coffee could play with it, so I got out of the car and, holding on to weeds for support, I went up the hill and retrieved the ball. A triumph of finder's keeper's, you think? Not so fast! On my way down, I was about two feet from the bottom when the ground gave way. I fell hard onto my right side, leg mostly. I wasn't hurt, but as I stood up and dusted myself off, I saw a car coming toward me. Two teenage girls I'd never seen seemed to be very concerned, and wanted to know if I needed help. I declined, since all that seemed to be injured was my pride. Then I saw our neighbor, a sixteen year old boy with a sixteen year old boy's attitude riding toward me on his horse and laughing like an evil hyena. I could have had broken bones for all he knew, but all he could do was laugh. I was so embarrassed. Since it happened, my family has given me no end of grief for climbing a hill for a lousy baseball, that was misshapen, by the way. Oh, and the right leg to more of a beating than I originally thought. It still hurts pretty good in the calf area. Heaven help me if I try to sit on it, like I often do. Yowsa!

OK. I think I'm done now. Except for one thing: Thursday was a good friend's birthday. If you read the comments on this blog, you know who she is. If you get a chance, scoot on over to http://waterbearergirl.blogspot.com and wish her a happy birthday. It would make her very happy, I think. Bye!

2005-01-28T21:41:00.000-08:00

2005-01-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

I'm in Vanna mode. "All this filth can be yours IF you solve our next puzzle!"

Posted by Hello

2005-01-17T19:56:00.000-08:00

I went to Ronald McDonald House today. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Because I am a royal sucker. As you can see from the picture below, I worked very hard. I got very tired. I got very sore. All that's OK, though, because I was doing work that would benefit my fellow man. One lady apparently thought we were paid housekeepers or something, though, because she was making all these specifications about when we should "come back" to clean her room. We were trying to be considerate because she wanted to take a nap, and all she could do was complain that her room wasnt finished yet. Sheesh. Some people. We're volunteers, for Pete's sake! You stay here for free!

All that notwithstanding, it was an OK day. It would have been nice to spend my vacation day napping, but at least I accomplished something. In fact, I should probably be sleeping right now. I'm not, though. I'm updating the blog just for you fine folks! Hooray for me! Hee, hee. I crack me up. I mean, y'all don't actually enjoy reading my rants, do you? (Although I'm told my ranting gets raves.) I'm trying not to complain too much, since my incessant whining was mentioned on another blog (http://waterbearergirl.blogspot.com).

Oh, did anyone watch the dog show? It was interesting. For one thing, I found out that the Southeastern Javahound is NOT recognized by the AKC, but the Pembroke Welsh Corgi is! What is this world coming to? What the heck kind of a name is corgi, any way? (Take that, Waterbearer Girl! Mock my whining, will ya!) I also saw that my favorite non-Java breed didn't even win his division. Anybody else like Newfies? They're so cute and large and hairy, and they have webbed paws! Webbed paws, for crying out loud!!! What could be cooler than that? So anyhoots, I wasn't entirely disappointed with the winner of Best in Show. It went to a bloodhound named Notty, or Noddy, or something like that. I saw a Tibetan Terrier for the first time, I think. It was gorgeous. It has long flowing hair that looks kind of like a ball gown or something. High maintenence. Yup, there were some pretty dogs, all right, but they all looked like strays with bad haircuts compared to my Coffee.

Speaking of Coffee and the dog show, I'm not entirely sure, but I think he was pouting about it. He gets a little jealous when I play with Beagley, so I think hearing me coo over dogs he doesn't even know really ticked him off. I can just hear him thinking "What's so great about them? Sure, they are all clean and obedient, but I bet none of THEM ever brought his person a dear skin from the woods! Stupid, prissy little pure breds. The only papers I need are paper towels to shred because someone has used them to wipe there fingers on after eating fried chicken." OK, so maybe I'm overestimating the JH's thought process, but I know he made funny noises the whole time the show was on. What else could it have meant?

OK, in the interest of brevity (insert maniacal laughter here), I'm going to finish now. Oh, and in the interest of clarity, the picture I mentioned earlier may actually be above this. I'm not sure it uploaded properly. Groovy? Groovy.

Really Neat Exhibit Day!

2005-01-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

I got to go to a really cool exhibit in High Point. It's called "The Dead Sea Scrolls to the Bible in America." (http://www.deadseascrollstoamerica.com) I saw things you wouldn't believe! They had actual pieces of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a Gutenberg Bible, ancient cuneiform tablet pieces, a portion of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, and even a mummified falcon! I got to see beautiful illuminated manuscripts. I couldn't draw like that with a gun to my head. Those folks had some serious talent. I took some great pictures that I hope come out well. I didn't use my flash, since too many flashes can be bad for these sorts of things. (Or at least, so they tell me. The folks today didn't say anything, but every museum I've ever been in had the "no-flash" policy.) Unfortunately my camera battery died, so the picture I wanted to get of me with the Gutenberg wasn't to be. I'm going back, though, and I'll get a new battery before then, and take that picture and post it here. I may also get a picture of me in the simulated Qumran. I'll be all "Get me! I'm an Essene! Sure hope no Romans show up!"

I'd been looking forward to this since last Sunday (Hey, look! Petunia just walked in!) when I heard about it on WBFJ. That's our local Christian radio station. They were talking about this thing when I was on my way to church, and I got so excited. I love this stuff! Yes, I am fully aware what a dork I am. I even got to go to a lecture. I think I'm going back next Saturday, or possibly Sunday. Yeah, that might be better, since I'll be in Kernersville any way, and that's much closer than I live. Maybe I can get some folks from Church to go with. In fact, if this tour ever comes your way, try to go. The tickets aren't super expensive, and it's a neat way to spend a couple of hours.

Actually, it also got me out of a homeowner's meeting that was held at my house. It sounded like a crashing bore, so I decided as soon as it was planned to get out of Dodge for a while. Apparently, not a lot was accomplished, and very few people showed up, although I did find out later that the neighbors love my Coffee. Apparently, they think he's very sweet (duh) and just beautiful (duh squared). I knew all that. Heck, I tell people that all the time. Y'all know. You've seen the Javahound pics. Oh, that reminds me. I'm thinking of having Coffee mugs made. If anybody would be interested, let me know. I'll find out how much they would cost. Who knows? People all over America, or even the whole world, could be starting their day with Coffee. He is, after all, the best part of waking up! Well, unless he's waking you up at 2:30 AM with ear-slapping, of course.

Let's see. Any other news? Not that I can think of. Wait! That's not true. I found my watch! At least, my grandmother found it. I knew I'd left it there. It was deep in the recesses of a chair. I bet if we looked for long, we'd eventually find Amelia Earhart. OK. I'm done now. I'm going to go vacuum my bedroom floor. Wish me luck! Dog hair is a valiant adversary.

Whinefest 2005!

2005-01-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

Ugh. If this isn't a rotten day, I honestly don't know what would be. It's only 49 degrees outside, and it's cloudy and wet. We had the mother of all rainstorms last night, and now my car's driver's seat is all wet. Before you ask, no, I didn't for get to put the window up. The switch that operates my window has a short or something (lousy Nissans) and I can't raise OR lower the windows or use the power locks. So, to make a long story short (Too late!), despite covering the seat, I have a damp fanny. Forgive me if that language was a little to graphic. "Damp fanny" just happens to be a hilarious phrase, particularly if you say it out loud.

So I overslept this morning, as usual. I got up at about 6:30, and I needed to leave by 6:50 at the latest. As it was, I was on time for class, but I feel all scuzzy. I need to start going to bed earlier, but late night is when I function best, and can get the most done, school work and devotion wise. For example, right now, I'm at about 65% mental capacity. 12 hours fom now, I'll be at about 98%. That's as high as I ever get. I leave that last 2% available for assorted wanderings of the mind. You know, bizarre free associations and streams of consciousness, stuff like that. Without that precious 2%, this particular blog wouldn't be half as interesting, and that would be sad.

I left school early today, obviously. I'm supposed to be there until 12:50, but I'm not feeling so well. I'm really tired for some odd reason (If you are reading this and you know my sleep habits, no, it's not from staying up late. I'm more sleepy than usual.) and my back, or what's left of it, really hurts. I have that pain running down into my right leg thing happening. At least my foot isn't tingling, and as I told a friend earlier, it could be a lot worse. At least I can still walk. I look like a question mark sometimes, but I'm still on my feet.

Coffee has a fun new trick. It's called "Scare the Wits (Ha, ha!) Out of Lori as She's About to Doze Off." The way this trick works is he lies on the floor sleeping soundly. Then, just as I'm in that presleep state where I'm sort of dreaming, he suddenly shakes his head REALLY hard, slapping he ears violently against the floor. Now, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but the javahound and rather large floppy ears. He also has a large head, and pretty strong head shaking muscles. In the state I'm in as I drift off, this head-shaking, ear-slapping extravaganza sounds just like someone pounding on my bedroom door. Now that'll make you sit bolt upright with speed. By the time I realized no one was there and my heart left the general region of my small intestine, Coffee was already back asleep, looking cute as a giant button. I think he did it on purpose.

OK. That's enough of that. I promise my next post will be cheerful and full of fun. I think I'm going to this really cool exhibit of biblical artifacts tomorrow. I'll talk about how cool it was and give you info if you want to go. Right now it's in High Point, NC, but it travels. Have a great one!!!

I Am So Sorry!

2005-01-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

It's been forever since I last posted. I'm sure you were all champing at the bit to know what was going on in my life. Well, frankly, I'm stumped. I have no idea what to write here. I guess I'll have to make like Buffalo and wing it! HA! That was a good one! I just made it up, too! Huzzah! I AM witty! I knew it! (I'm dancing a little dance of joy for my comedy triumph right now. You can't see it, I know, but to be totally honest, you probably wouldn't want to.)

So, I started school this week. I'm taking a ridiculous number of classes, and none of them are electives. To tell the truth, I was pretty close to dropping something. Before classes started, I was going to drop Spanish, but after the first day, I was a mess about my college algebra class. We had to take a "diagnostic tool" on hte first day, and I turned into a blithering idiot. I couldn't do arithmatic. I started thinking to myself "Gee, I guess everyone in here knows this but me. I am woefully unprepared. I should just go ahead and drop. After all, I've never been a math person." Before I dropped, though, I decided to give myself a little test. I started to read the textbook in chapter one. I read and I did example problems. I UNDERSTOOD! It was amazing. I've never had so little trouble with math in my life. Then I went to class on Wednesday, and everything my instructor said made sense. If that's not just the oyster's ice skates, I don't know what is. Now, I know what you're thinking. You think that I am one of those annoying kids that always reminded teachers to give homework. Well that's just not true! For one thing, most of our homework is already scheduled and in our syllibi. For another, I'm 28 years old, and I fully intend to do well now that I'm finally back in school. Think what you will. I don't care. Some day, you will all have to call me DR. Lori!

OK. I think that's enough. Not a lot has been going on in my life. I would, however, like to tell you all to get involved in some kind of tsunami relief effort. If you're looking for a worthwhile charity, I recommend AG Relief. You can donate online at http://www.agrelief.org. They do good work. Thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday to Me. Yee, haaw.

2005-01-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now twenty-eight years old. Remember the funk I spoke of? Well, it didn't hit me as hard as it has in the past, but it was still there. I don't like birthdays. They're a sure sign of getting older, and having accomplished nothing. Pathetic. This is my last birthday, too. I'm not having any more. I'm stopping at 28. I'd stop at 29, but that's kind of cliche. I mean, I have a great aunt who's in her eighties (probably) who still claims to be 29. Honestly, nobody really knows how old she is. Heaven knows, no matter how old I get, I'll probably have people keeping track with an abacus. Pitiful.

Would you like to know what I did on my birthday? Well, I went to my school to help someone get registered for classes. It was late registration day, and it was as crowded as a Krispy Kreme next door to Weight Watchers. The lines were vicious. First there was the line at the records office. Then there was the line at the cashier's office. Then I had to buy books for a couple of my classes. Last semester, the line at the bookstore was really short after registration. Yesterday, however, it was a nightmare. We were in that line for about an hour, and in the store for about 5 minutes. For two classes, I spent over $216. Contributions are accepted. Hee, hee. My Spanish class had three required books and four optional ones. I decided to buy the dictionary (one of the optional books) and leave the rest until after the first class meeting. That way I can ask my instructor if I need them. If not, forget it, Charlie. Money is tight as it is. So anyhoo, after all that standing in line (about three hours worth, total) I was in moderate to extreme pain. My back was protesting like a spoiled four-year-old who didn't get his way. So I came home, watched some TV, and lay down, and eventually went to sleep for a couple of hours. I got up later, ate some dinner, and stayed in question mark form, muttering about incredibly average Vernon Parsons. (If that makes no sense, watch some MASH from 1977.) Yup. This was my birthday. Oh, I did get a couple of cards. One was from my young adults' group at church about God weaving our dreams into us, and one about my being old as the hills. This one came from someone who shall remain nameless who is exactly THREE WEEKS YOUNGER THAN I! What's the deal with that? I am not old! I just feel that way.

Well, at least the animals love me. Beagley had a bath and was none too pleased about it. At least he's a bit less, well, fragrant now. I don't know how he does it. Get so stinky, I mean. It must be a gift. He didn't like me for a while after that, but he'll live. I figured I should go ahead and do it while it was warm, and not put it off. A good thing, too, since it has cooled down a bit. According to Weatherbug, it's only 56 degrees today. Brrrrr. Muahahahahahaha! That's for all you fine folks where it's really cold. Petunia is still home. She's wanted lots of love since she got back, except from Coffee. In fact, she was just this second growling at him because he sniffed a little too close. She's so silly.

OK, I'm through with my self-indulgent prattle for the day. That is, unless something interesting happens that I think the world desperately needs to know. Have a great one, everybody!!!

HUZZAH!!!

2005-01-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

This is just a brief update. I want you all to know who arrived at my house last night. Guess! No idea? Well, I'll give you a hint. She's stripey and has a nightlight on her tail. That's right! It's Petunia!!! I'm so excited. The little fuzzy monster has wanted to be cuddled since she got home. She's also been eating like a fool. That's how I ate when I came home from college for vacation. Maybe Petunia was out taking classes at TCU: Tabby Cat University. Dog Shunning 201. Maybe she was teaching it. She's awfully good.

Coping with 2005, A Brief Treatise

2005-01-04T00:22:00.000-08:00

OK, maybe treatise is too nice a word for this post. It's going, I think, to be more of giant whine-fest. I have a lot on my emotional plate at the moment, so I'm going to sound off here for mental health purposes. First of all, my friends left today. It was very sad. I may get to see them again in March, but still. On the plus side, my house sure is quiet. Hee, hee. The monkey isn't here to make toddler racket. At least I still have Coffee. He is a very comforting presence. I let him eat peanuts today. I think he must have liked them, because when they were gone, he climbed up onto my bed and cuddled. It was very sweet.

Whine focus number two involves the world of journalism. Dave Barry, the greatest living columnist, is hanging up his booger jokes this year, and may never be back. I'm a rather disheartened by this. Dave's column, at least for me, was like time-released humor therapy. No matter how lame life is sometimes, I always had Dave to look forward to on Monday. (I realize his column is published on Sunday in the Miami Herald, but the Winston-Salem Journal, where I read it, publishes on Monday.) However, if I understand correctly, but let's be honest, that's not likely, a film version of Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys is in the works. Dave plays himself, and John Cleese is in it, too. My kidneys are all aquiver with anticipation.

In all seriousness, I do have a legitimate concern, and I'm not just whining. My cat, Petunia (December 17, 2004) is missing. I haven't seen her in about three days. I'm really worried. Petunia and I have been together a long time. I've had her since she was born. She's the kind of kitty who needs frequent, yet cat-initiated, affection. I hope she's OK. Pray for her. She needs to come home so I can pamper her for a few days. I have tuna with her name on it. Poor, sweet meow-head. I love her very much. I mean, I know I talk more about Coffee on here, but Petunia is very special. She's soft and cuddly, and she's communicative, and she keeps the pup in his place. I need my kitty! Sniff, sniff. Maybe the crowd was too big for her. She isn't used to strangers and small children. Maybe she went to some secret cat spa till it all blew over. I sure hope she comes home.

All right, enough of all this. I'm getting really down. I think I'll publish this and head for the sack. See? I told you I'd be getting all weird before my b-day. Never fails. I'll keep you posted on the Petunia situation. Oh, get this, I was just reminded of another thing that has me all freaked out. The tsunami. It upsets me even to think about it. Those poor, poor people. Pray for them, too. For the parents who lost children, and the children who lost their parents. I can't even fathom what those people are going through. My aging is a pretty petty thing, huh? At least I get to have another birthday. At least my friends who left today are safe. At least my cat will probably come home. There are a million blessings, and yet I complain. I'd better cut it out. I mean, I'm hardly Job over here.

I'm done now! I promise! I need to go sleep. Maybe I'll dream of hockey season starting up, and it'll cheer me up. Gooooo Hurricanes!

2005, Hear We Come!!!

2005-01-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

OK, so technically we're already there, but this is my first post of the new year. I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted. I've been really busy and right now I have house guests. My friend Becky, her husband John, and their monkey, I mean son, have all been at my house for about four days. The son is a not-quite-two-year-old rascal named Jackson. He's like the people equivalent of my hound. In fact, the two of them got along quite well. I was a little concerned, since Coffee had never been around small children. He did really well, though. The closest thing we've had to an incident was a little rough play. My pup is a very good boy. Jackson was actually shoving grass into Coffee's mouth this afternoon, and he was a terrific sport about it. They even played a little tug o' war with a stick. Last night, Coffee was lying on his tummy on the floor here in the study, and Jackson lay down next to the Javahead on his tummy (Jackson's, not the dog's) and proceeded to suck his thumb (again, Jackson's, not the pup's). I had to turn away because a person can only handle so much cuteness before passing out.

So I hope everyone had a great new year. Mine was uneventful, but OK. I didn't really do anything, but at least I wasn't in a chartreuse funk about what I should have accomplished by now. I guess that's waiting for my birthday on Thursday. I shall be 28 years old. Yes, Dina, I know I'm old. The fact that my face looks like a Bible cover from 1802 and that my hair could be mined by Yukon Cornelius tell me that every day. Oh, since we're on the subject of my nativity, I would like to point out that all of my loyal readers who want to send gifts can send eBay gift certificates. Although not really curing my addiction, this will prevent me from buying crap I don't need with money I don't have. I will being buying crap I don't need with money y'all gave me. This is an important distinction. Don't make that face. I'd bid on a vote that you do it, too. I'm hoping to go out to a nice dinner for my birthday, but I don't know. I may just end up doing what I usually do: curling up into the fetal position and weeping bitterly as a grieve my quickly passing youth. You know the sad part? I don't feel that old. I mean, I still kind of think of myself as a kid. I got Hello Kitty sheets, Veggie Tales toys, and Spongebob Pez dispensers for Christmas, for the love of Pete! Are these gifts people give to someone they view as a mature young woman? Of course not! Heck, I also ordered myself Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie on DVD, which I am eagerly awaiting. By the way, if anyone from the USPS is reading this, get a move on! If it doesn't arrive by tomorrow, I'm throwing a tantrum!

I have good news, too! I finally got my grades from Forsyth Tech, the illustrious institution of higher learning I attend. I got striaght A's!!! I'm so proud I could plotz. I think I may be able to finish my degree after all. I may even get the Ph.D. I've wanted all my life. Can you imagine? Dr. Lori Denise Priddy, psychologist. Maybe I can even do it in a timely manner, as in, before I'm dead. Of course, the upcoming semester is going to be a bear. I'm taking 18 credit hours because a) I want to be able to get as many classes as I can before I transfer, and b) I'm out of what passes for my mind. Pray for me. The semester starts next Monday, a week from today. I'm thinking of having a minor breakdown next Saturday to get me in the proper frame of mind for school. I'll eat some chocolate and watch a sad movie and then move on to eating spaghetti and watching a funny movie. It's all very methodical. I'm sure there's science behind it, too, but I'll need an enormous federal grant to study it.

So, I hope this post has made you all very happy and informed. I'll write again soon. Have a great year, and God bless!!!!!

2004-12-27T15:27:00.000-08:00

Mia in her pea pod! Mia is Dina's little girl. Ain't she a gem?!?

Posted by Hello

2004-12-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

Oh, Boy! Santa Came! Santa Came!

2004-12-25T23:36:00.000-08:00

The fat man in the red suit has come at last! I hope he was good to everyone. He usually is. We had a pretty good day around here, with family, food, presents and pets. Coffee got a Kong ball with peanut butter treats. He likes it as long as the treat is easily accessible, then he gets bored. He chews like a madman for about 15 seconds, then goes on to more intellectual persuits, like begging. Beagley got some bacon-flavored chew bones. I can't say he actually did any chewing, though. Mostly he just laid on them. Who knows? Maybe to beagles bacon is more cologne than food. Binky got a battery-powered mouse. Unfortunately, it has to be returned because it won't work. Binky wasn't disappointed today, though. Petunia got a mouse that you stuff with catnip, and she was unaffected and apparently completely disinterested. Binky took over from there. He has been buzzed out of his gourd all day! It's pretty funny, considering he's a spaz any way. We actually had to take it away from him so he could come down. Then he got the munchies.

The rest of us got some pretty good presents, too. My mommy got the food processor she wanted. Homer got a new DVD player and a substantial gift card to is favorite store. My brother got really sharp knives, may God have mercy on his knuckles. Yours truly got a sewing machine! Now I can become the domestic icon I've always aspired to be. Hahahahahaha. I also got the first season of the greatest show ever broadcast on DVD: M*A*S*H. I also got Spongebob Pez dispensers, but that's another category altogether.

Well, I hope everyone had a merry and blessed Christmas. It's almost over, but I've had fun. I'll probably be posting pictures soon. Maybe I'll even get one of myself in some of my new clothes. Hey! I know! I'll take a poll. If you want to see me, vote on the comments board. If you think I should remain an obscure image that you've formed in your mind, well, vote for that option. I'll get someone to take the picture tomorrow, and on New Year's Eve I'll count the votes to see if you, the internet reader, want to to know what I look like. If you feel strongly one way or the other, tell your friends to vote, too. OK, I have church in the morning, so I need to get to bed. I've also been up since pretty early. I always wake up when I hear the reindeer on my roof. Have a great day, and I'll post again soon! Don't forget to vote!

Merry Christmas from the Javahunden!

2004-12-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

Ho, ho, ho! Lori Claus here with a Yuletide update! I know it's been a couple of days since I posted, but I was having technical difficulties. Anyhoo, on the dog front, Coffee has a hot spot on his giant tail. It's being treated with salve (I love that word!) and will be all better soon. The only problem is that the big silly hound licks the medicine off. Any suggestions?

I would also like to point out that I have been made to feel like quite a heel by a comment made here. You see, someone calling herself "pt" said that the reason my gifts weren't wrapped as of that post was that I took Christmas for granted. The saddest part is that it's partially true. While I did have a valid reason for being a little behind (i.e. poverty), I think maybe I do take this time of year a little too lightly. I mean, I am really blessed to have had 27 Christmases in my life, when some people have had very few or even none. Not only that, but the meaning of Christmas is certainly not lost on me. The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. I'm grateful, and I promise never to take this fantastic holiday for granted again.

Merry Christmas from Lori and Coffee!!!

2004-12-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

This is Coffee at his most cheerful. I had just gotten back from a trip, and he was glad to see me. I'm thinking of taking him abroad sometime, so he can be an International Coffee!

Posted by Hello

This is ridiculous!

2004-12-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

I would just like to tell you all that there may be no more posts to this blog. It's so cold that I may freeze to death while getting the mail. We had temperatures in the single digits last night, and this morning we had a wind chill advisory for 5 to 15 below zero. I'm not sure how low it actually got, but that's just wrong. If God had meant me to deal with these kinds of temps, He would have made me a penguin. Even the dogs didn't want to be outside, and they have fur!

2004-12-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

This is Binky, making war against Coffee's infernal tail. He's just a few months old, and you'd think he was either a caffeine freak or ADHD, especially when it comes to pot holders.

Posted by Hello

Brrrr....

2004-12-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

Sure is cold out there. As of this writing, it's only 27 degrees in our neck of the woods. It's supposed to go down in the teens, but I'd really rather not think about that. All the animals are inside tonight, and that's where they'll stay, all whining aside. We didn't get to take our ride today, because I was too busy/tired/cold. The Java monster seems to be OK with it, because his buddy, Beagley gets to be inside tonight, and they got meatloaf. Talk about a recipe for contentment! You know, it just occurred to me that I haven't posted a picture of Coffee's little brother, Binky. I think it would behoove me to do that now!