Tales of the Javahunden

This blog is the story of my life and the life of my dog, Coffee. We don't have a lot of adventures, but I like to think I can make my ordinary life interesting through the magic of creative hyperbole.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Mia in her pea pod! Mia is Dina's little girl. Ain't she a gem?!?

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Sunday, December 26, 2004


Saturday, December 25, 2004

Oh, Boy! Santa Came! Santa Came!

The fat man in the red suit has come at last! I hope he was good to everyone. He usually is. We had a pretty good day around here, with family, food, presents and pets. Coffee got a Kong ball with peanut butter treats. He likes it as long as the treat is easily accessible, then he gets bored. He chews like a madman for about 15 seconds, then goes on to more intellectual persuits, like begging. Beagley got some bacon-flavored chew bones. I can't say he actually did any chewing, though. Mostly he just laid on them. Who knows? Maybe to beagles bacon is more cologne than food. Binky got a battery-powered mouse. Unfortunately, it has to be returned because it won't work. Binky wasn't disappointed today, though. Petunia got a mouse that you stuff with catnip, and she was unaffected and apparently completely disinterested. Binky took over from there. He has been buzzed out of his gourd all day! It's pretty funny, considering he's a spaz any way. We actually had to take it away from him so he could come down. Then he got the munchies.

The rest of us got some pretty good presents, too. My mommy got the food processor she wanted. Homer got a new DVD player and a substantial gift card to is favorite store. My brother got really sharp knives, may God have mercy on his knuckles. Yours truly got a sewing machine! Now I can become the domestic icon I've always aspired to be. Hahahahahaha. I also got the first season of the greatest show ever broadcast on DVD: M*A*S*H. I also got Spongebob Pez dispensers, but that's another category altogether.

Well, I hope everyone had a merry and blessed Christmas. It's almost over, but I've had fun. I'll probably be posting pictures soon. Maybe I'll even get one of myself in some of my new clothes. Hey! I know! I'll take a poll. If you want to see me, vote on the comments board. If you think I should remain an obscure image that you've formed in your mind, well, vote for that option. I'll get someone to take the picture tomorrow, and on New Year's Eve I'll count the votes to see if you, the internet reader, want to to know what I look like. If you feel strongly one way or the other, tell your friends to vote, too. OK, I have church in the morning, so I need to get to bed. I've also been up since pretty early. I always wake up when I hear the reindeer on my roof. Have a great day, and I'll post again soon! Don't forget to vote!

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas from the Javahunden!

Ho, ho, ho! Lori Claus here with a Yuletide update! I know it's been a couple of days since I posted, but I was having technical difficulties. Anyhoo, on the dog front, Coffee has a hot spot on his giant tail. It's being treated with salve (I love that word!) and will be all better soon. The only problem is that the big silly hound licks the medicine off. Any suggestions?

I would also like to point out that I have been made to feel like quite a heel by a comment made here. You see, someone calling herself "pt" said that the reason my gifts weren't wrapped as of that post was that I took Christmas for granted. The saddest part is that it's partially true. While I did have a valid reason for being a little behind (i.e. poverty), I think maybe I do take this time of year a little too lightly. I mean, I am really blessed to have had 27 Christmases in my life, when some people have had very few or even none. Not only that, but the meaning of Christmas is certainly not lost on me. The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. I'm grateful, and I promise never to take this fantastic holiday for granted again.

Merry Christmas from Lori and Coffee!!!

Monday, December 20, 2004

This is Coffee at his most cheerful. I had just gotten back from a trip, and he was glad to see me. I'm thinking of taking him abroad sometime, so he can be an International Coffee!

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This is ridiculous!

I would just like to tell you all that there may be no more posts to this blog. It's so cold that I may freeze to death while getting the mail. We had temperatures in the single digits last night, and this morning we had a wind chill advisory for 5 to 15 below zero. I'm not sure how low it actually got, but that's just wrong. If God had meant me to deal with these kinds of temps, He would have made me a penguin. Even the dogs didn't want to be outside, and they have fur!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

This is Binky, making war against Coffee's infernal tail. He's just a few months old, and you'd think he was either a caffeine freak or ADHD, especially when it comes to pot holders.

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Brrrr....

Sure is cold out there. As of this writing, it's only 27 degrees in our neck of the woods. It's supposed to go down in the teens, but I'd really rather not think about that. All the animals are inside tonight, and that's where they'll stay, all whining aside. We didn't get to take our ride today, because I was too busy/tired/cold. The Java monster seems to be OK with it, because his buddy, Beagley gets to be inside tonight, and they got meatloaf. Talk about a recipe for contentment! You know, it just occurred to me that I haven't posted a picture of Coffee's little brother, Binky. I think it would behoove me to do that now!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

This is my friend Dina's new Corgi puppy. His name is Payton, and he's just precious. Aren't those just the cutest little legs?

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The hound was not pleased with me today. I went for a ride in the c-a-r and he didn't get to come along. I wish I knew what it was with dogs and cars. Maybe it's the sheer laziness of it. I mean, you can get from one place to another a long way away, and you aren't even panting when you get there. If that's not the reason, then it's just silly. It makes me feel really crummy, though, when I have to leave Coffee behind. If he stays outside, I have to drive faster than he can run, and that's no mean feat. So far, I've clocked him at 35 mph. If I can get him to stay inside, I have to bribe him with cheese or, on occassion, cookies, and someone else has to be home. Either way, there has to be food involved. I think we're going for a ride tomorrow, though. Maybe that will cheer him up and relieve my guilt. I suppose we'll have to see. Maybe Monday we'll go to the park or something. I mean, after all, 'tis the season, right? Ho, ho, ho!
This is Beagley, Coffee's best dog friend. He was a stray that showed up at our house and he's been with us ever since. Note the cooler in the back. I'm not sure, but I think that's where the dogs keep their sandwiches.

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A Pretty Package

We finally got our Christmas tree decorated. There are ornaments on it that are older than I am. It's a majestic white pine, our tree. The white pine, by the way, is the North Carolina state tree. I know no one really cares, but it's just that kind of trivia that keeps life interesting. We don't have any presents under the tree yet, since I'm a slacker and just bought most of mine yesterday and certainly haven't had time to wrap them. Coffee decided that it looked a little bare under there, so he fixed the problem. He walked right into the living room and flopped down underneath. It was absolutely priceless. He promptly fell asleep and looked like the gift everyone would like to receive.

Friday, December 17, 2004

This is Coffee's chief nemesis, Petunia. She's actually a very sweet cat.

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This is Coffee, the Javahound. Have you ever seen such nobility?

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Me and my Java Hound

So this is my shiny new blog. I'm going to tell you all about the best dog ever. His name is Coffee, and he is a Southeastern Javahound. OK, so I totally made up that breed. What's your point? He's actually a black and merle German Shepherd/et cetera mix. A great animal, my Coffee. I got him almost a year ago, when he was six weeks old from a neighbor. As soon as I picked him up he snuggled against my shoulder, and I fell in love. I mean, how could I not? These days, my baby is a little too big to hold over my shoulder, but he still tries. He likes to curl up in bed with me, and occasionally steals the pillows. He tries to protect me from the wickedness of my cat, and any others with foul intentions, like the UPS guy or my nephew. All in all, he's a great dog to have around, and I'll tell you all more soon.